“Alice, you might be the product of the biggest ball of ignorance, confidence, and good fortune the universe has ever manufactured. But if you’re thinking that you can take your results at the virtual tables and your grand tactic of Ignorance Is Bliss, and make that work for the Main Event, forget it—it WON'T.”

“If you ever pull a switcheroo like that again, Dee, I’m going to offer your boyfriend ten thousand dollars to make out with Alice for two minutes.”

“Don’t make me Alice-nap you, Alice. Because you know I can carry you.”

“For someone named Alice, you’re really not all that up on your Wonderland trivia.”

“I think it would be prudent to advise you that due to extraordinary circumstances beyond our control, the original plan we had for participating in and extending the duration of the IPT Main Event has been drastically altered, specifically as it pertains to certain individuals competing—”

“Alice, winning means manipulation. It means taking people—people who may have helped you in the past, even people you care about—and using them without hesitation or regret. It means making decisions that would be viewed by any normal-thinking human being as cynical at best and dishonorable at worst”

“I think I can say with confidence that it’s a lot funnier if you haven’t actually been attacked by a shark.”