“This is from the queen? And you say it’s for a mouse? I’m sorry, sir, but the Pyramid Hotel doesn’t allow any pets except for service animals.”

“Uh-oh, I hope he doesn’t start rattling off dirty limericks next; she’ll probably burn the hotel down.”

“I’m good at being vague and unpredictable. It’s sort of a hard habit to break.”

“Well, Faye, dear, I’m sure Harlow’s sorry she didn’t think to ask if you’d been eaten by a shark. That’s totally on her.”

“Mouse likes to drag you to uninhabited areas with no cell signal—all those places perfect for dying of exposure.”

“I don’t know what this is for anyway. I mean, let me tell you what I’m never going to say to any human being, ever: ‘I had hunting season off-suit in the pocket, but I've had kicker trouble with that hand often enough to fold it.”

“What if it’s a shy fish? Is that a 'coy koi?' What? Don’t hate me because I’m asking the important questions.”