“Well then, I guess I’m man enough to admit that I’m trying to get in touch with my inner bitch.”

“Are you okay?”“Well, I’d prefer to be in my own bedroom at home, dreaming of ponies and rainbows, but since I’m stuck here, I guess I’m as good as I can be.”

“She grabbed the bills. “Alright, you rat bastard, you win.” She stuffed the money in her back pocket.“But I’m only taking it because I’m greedy and desperate, and because there’s no door on that room so you can’t get too frisky. “Fair enough.”“I mean it, Dean. If you try to cop even one feel…”“Me? What about you?” His eyes slid over her like cool icing on hot spice cake. “How about this, double or nothing.”“What are you taking about?”“You touch me first, I keep the hundred. I touch you first, you get two hundred. Nobody touches anybody, the deals stands as is.”She thought it over, but couldn’t see any immediate loopholes other than the threat of her inner-slut emerging, and she could darn well control that little bitch. “Deal.”

“I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t perfect and bitchin’ and just winning every second, I’m not perfect, and bitching and just delivering the goods at every fucking turn. Because look what I’m dealing with, man — I’m dealing with fools and trolls. I’m dealing with soft targets.”

“I’m the Spider, bitch—I’m the best there is.”

“You don’t really think I’m going to let her yell at my wife, do you?”“You’re getting pretty comfortable with that term.”“I guess it’s time I admit it. I knew you were going to be my wife pretty much from the second I met you. I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t been waiting for the day I could say it…so I’m going to abuse the title. You should get used to it, now.” He said this all matter-of-factly, as if he were giving a practiced speech.”