“Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.'Ellen: 'No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.”

“How, unless you drink as I do, could you hope to understand the beauty of an old Indian woman playing dominoes with a chicken?”

“There’s cat feces in my Batman costume, and all the lines in my screenplay were snorted by the neighborhood cokehead. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“Always be yourself. Unless you can be Darth Batman. Always be Darth Batman.”

“Ah, my poor child, how far gone you are in your blindness! Why did you have me summoned?""I had hopes, I had hopes.""Hopes? Hopes of what?""I do not know. The things we hope for are always the things we do not know.”

“MARK! What the hell are you doing? That's revolting. Stop that immediately.'And that's when Mark looks up at me and says, in a matter-of-fact voice, 'Batman has pendicitus. He has to have a ternal zamination.- Cat”