“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.”

“Actually this is really funny - one time she accidentally forgot to leave a note and I had no idea she had even moved. I was living in the house with a beautiful Mexican family for three months before I realized they weren't my cousins visiting from out of town. They were so nice. They called me "Quien es, quien es," which I thought was a beautiful name.”

“Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.”

“I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.”

“Procrastinate now, don't put it off.”

“Start thinking positively. You will notice a difference. Instead of 'I think I'm a loser,' try 'I definitely am a loser.' Stop being wishy-washy about things! How much more of a loser can you be if you don't even know you are one? Either you are a loser or you are not. Which is it, stupid?”

“I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?”