“God i've missed you. I can't wait to give you your present. He kisses me hotter this time, and beneath me, through his denim and mine. I can feel the promise of his Christmas gift soon to come.”

“crawling up into daddy's lapwhen dad was stillDADDYnodding my head against his chest soaking in the comfort of his heartLISTENINGto the thump...thumpsomewhere beneath muscleand breastbone I remember his armstheir sublimeENCIRCLINGand the shawdow of his voice"I love you, little girl.Put away your bad dreams.Daddy's here"I put them away, Until Daddy became my nightmare that one that cameHOMEfrom work everyday and insteadof picking me up, chased me farfaraway”

“Later, Bishop Crandall dropped byThe house to give me a sternreprimand. He sat acrossthe cluttered table,playing with a paper clip.'Your parents are worries about you, Pattyn.'I was worried about myself.But I wasn't about to let himknow it. "Really?"'Really. What have you got to say for yourself? You've always been such a good girl.'Good girl. Sit. Stay. Fetch.Bristles rose up along my spine. "Define good."'I don't appreciate your attitude,Pattyn. Fast and pray. Search yoursoul for the inequities in your life.'"Any inequity in my lifebegan when I was bornfemale. Can you fix that?"'You'll have to fix that yourself,by concentrating on the thingsGod expects of you.'His two-faced rhetoric was pissing me off. "You mean like kissing your ass?"He slammed his hand on the table.'I will not listen to that sort of language. Apologize!'Behind me, I hear Momgasp. But I was on a roll."I'm sorry, BishopI'm sorry I ever believedyou might have somethingworthwhile to say.”

“I whisper and you close your eyes. I speak and you turn away. If I scream, will you finally hear me beg you to hold me close to you, promise you'll never let go?”

“I want him to be my Edward -- taking care of me, always. Watching over me, day or night, unsleeping. Keeping me safe, by his side. Caring for me with a passion so pure it can't be corrupted by time or distance or seduction. I know Edward is only fiction. But that doesn't have to mean love like his can only be found in books and movies or rooted in the misty world of dreams.”

“I Want to ShoutLeave me alone!What's wrong with you?Don't you remember who I am? Who you are?This is not a father's love! I want to scream, Can't you see what you are doing to me? What you've done to me? What you've made of me? I want to cry out, I am your little girl. I am not your girlfriend. I am not your whore. I am not my fucking mother! But he is on top of me and my shout is silenced. He is inside of me and my scream stays there too. He is finished. And I don't cry out, but I do cry a bucket of silent tears. He slithers away and at last, I quietly sob”

“SmokeYou stand infront of me,pretending to be solid,but you are nothing morethan smoke and mirors. You said you'd never leave,that you would care for us forever,but now you claim youcannot stay?That you've been called away.When you go,who will i turn to when it allcrashes down?Tell me who.Then tell me,how I can believeanone again, if all your promises have been lies.”