“I only have have one question, scraping the inside of me. Answer it, and I will stumble back into her shadow, shut my mouth, never ask again. I've tried to ignore it, but it won't go away. It haunts my dreams, chases me through every single day, and I don't have the strength to turn around, face it down. So please tell me and I swear I'll never ask again. It's in your power to make it go away, and all you have to do is tell me why you love her more.”

“One day she marched around the side of the house and confronted me. "I've seen you out there every day for the past week, and everyone knows you stare at me all day in school, if you have something you want to say to me why don't you just say it to my face instead of sneaking around like a crook?" I considered my options. Either I could run away and never go back to school again, maybe even leave the country as a stowaway on a ship bound for Australia. Or I could risk everything and confess to her. The answer was obvious: I was going to Australia. I opened my mouth to say goodbye forever. And yet. What I said was: I want to know if you'll marry me.”

“I swear I won't run away again, though. If I have to go, or if you ask me to, I'll walk away after saying goodbye."Tyler' finger closed around his. "Walk slow," he said. "So I can catch up with you.”

“Wait, so you do love me?" I asked, hope welling in my heart.She growled and pounded her fist into a locker, leaving a fist-shaped dent. "Stop it, Justin. Stop it!"I grabbed her shoulders. "Look at me and tell me you don't love me," I said. "Do it and I'll never bother you again.""I don't love you," she mumbled."Look at me when you say it!"She turned to me, her eyes hard but dull and faded. "I don't love you."I let her go. My heart turned to lead, the heavy lump sagging in my chest. "Well, if there are agents out there looking to kill me, I guess it would be a mercy."I turned to leave. Her hand gripped my shoulder."Please listen to me, Justin."I pushed her hand away but didn't turn to face her. I couldn't let her see the tears welling in my eyes. "Why? What does it matter?""It just does. I—I don't want to see you hurt."I took a deep shuddering breath. "You're not doing a very good job of it." I walked away and left her standing there.”

“What?" she asks, but I don't answer. Instead I kiss her, one time, and try to tell her in that single gesture everything that she'll forget as soon as she turns away. I tell her I love her. I tell her I'll miss her. And then I let her go.”

“Please don't ask me to go with you, because if you do, I'll go. Please don't ask me to tell Frank about us, because i'll do that, too. Please don't ask me to give up my responsibilities or break up my family; I love you, and if you love me, too, then you just can't ask me to do these things. Because I don't trust myself enough to say no.”