“I Want to ShoutLeave me alone!What's wrong with you?Don't you remember who I am? Who you are?This is not a father's love! I want to scream, Can't you see what you are doing to me? What you've done to me? What you've made of me? I want to cry out, I am your little girl. I am not your girlfriend. I am not your whore. I am not my fucking mother! But he is on top of me and my shout is silenced. He is inside of me and my scream stays there too. He is finished. And I don't cry out, but I do cry a bucket of silent tears. He slithers away and at last, I quietly sob”

“Do you know how beautiful you are?' I shook my head 'I'm not. But you make me fell like I am.' I wanted to be beautiful. To him. For him. I didn't care how anybody else saw me. Only Ethan.”

“That's what I'll be. A silhouette, rarely seen, and yet believed in. Kaeleigh wants to believe in me. I am her twin, forever alive inside her. And when she needs me, I am always here.”

“But you don't know what I want, do you. You formed an idea of who I am and What I do, and you've woven that idea in your life. You may listen to my words, but you don't hear my thoughts. You don't hear my needs. You don't see me. You haven't seen me in years.”

“PrettyThat's what I am, I guess.I mean, people have been tellingme that's what I am sinceI was two. Maybe younger. Prettyas a picture. (Who wantsto be a cliché?) Pretty asan angel. (Can you see them?)Pretty as a butterfly. (But isn'tthat really just a glam bug?)Cliché, invisible, or insectlike,I grew up knowing I waspretty and believing everything goodabout me had to do with howI looked. The mirror was my bestfriend. Until it started telling me I wasn't really pretty enough.”

“I whisper and you close your eyes. I speak and you turn away. If I scream, will you finally hear me beg you to hold me close to you, promise you'll never let go?”

“Later, Bishop Crandall dropped byThe house to give me a sternreprimand. He sat acrossthe cluttered table,playing with a paper clip.'Your parents are worries about you, Pattyn.'I was worried about myself.But I wasn't about to let himknow it. "Really?"'Really. What have you got to say for yourself? You've always been such a good girl.'Good girl. Sit. Stay. Fetch.Bristles rose up along my spine. "Define good."'I don't appreciate your attitude,Pattyn. Fast and pray. Search yoursoul for the inequities in your life.'"Any inequity in my lifebegan when I was bornfemale. Can you fix that?"'You'll have to fix that yourself,by concentrating on the thingsGod expects of you.'His two-faced rhetoric was pissing me off. "You mean like kissing your ass?"He slammed his hand on the table.'I will not listen to that sort of language. Apologize!'Behind me, I hear Momgasp. But I was on a roll."I'm sorry, BishopI'm sorry I ever believedyou might have somethingworthwhile to say.”