“I'm okay. Except..." God! "I totally want you.”

“You okay?"Just waiting for the water to boil. Burning shower. One of the only things that helps when I'm totally freaking out."I'm not sure how to respond. "So," I whisper, "you want anything?"Yeah," She replies, sarcastic "I want to be bulimic, but the vomit grosses me out.”

“A comedian is simply a different kind of therapist. A comedian is a psychologist and a psychiatrist rolled into one. Except I can't prescribe medicine. (You still need a doctorate, which is bullshit.) Okay, so I'm not like a psychiatrist. Fine. But I'm still like a psychologist (except I can't diagnose or treat mental illness).”

“That's okay. You an be selfish with me all you want. I'm yours.”

“God knows I never sought anything in you except yourself. I wanted simply you, nothing of yours.”

“I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.”