“Standing HereMy entire world far beneathmy feet, I should be filledwith pride. Instead, I feeloverwhelmed by a sense of defeat.Suddenly it comes to me,toes tempted to test the ledge,that there is a way out of this.Clam surety flows throughmy veins, and as I turn to wavegood-bye, I wonder if it willhurt or if a single personwill cry at my funeral.I take a deep breath, a finaltaste of sweet mountain air.I conjure Leona, Emily.Move my feet closer. CloserThere's Grandma One, GrandmaTwo, and their spouses, waitingfor me. I see Dad. Cara. Mommy.I screw up my courage, step over”

“I take four or five heavy steps beyond the front door and Mom comes rushing down the hallway. "Shane! What in the hell-" Now she sees me, in all my dignified glory. I tell her I'm fine. Swear I stuck up for my sister, not an alien but an angel. By the time I get to, "I think I might need stitches," Mom is my mommy. She may have forgotten my birthday. But today she remembers me.”

“I Want to ShoutLeave me alone!What's wrong with you?Don't you remember who I am? Who you are?This is not a father's love! I want to scream, Can't you see what you are doing to me? What you've done to me? What you've made of me? I want to cry out, I am your little girl. I am not your girlfriend. I am not your whore. I am not my fucking mother! But he is on top of me and my shout is silenced. He is inside of me and my scream stays there too. He is finished. And I don't cry out, but I do cry a bucket of silent tears. He slithers away and at last, I quietly sob”

“If I come back to you now, can we be what we were before life’s uncertain rhythms tore us so far apart? If I return today, will your arms gather me in, or will I be wrenched away, snatched by riptide I have no power to resist? If I find my way to you, one man standing in a crowd, will I even know who you are?”

“I do have friends, but they don't know me, only someone I've created to take my place. Someone sculpted from ice. I keep the melted me bottled up inside. Where no one can touch her, until, unbidden, she comes pouring out.”

“One Time, One Daybetween Davie and Roberta ,I asked my mom why she persisted,kept on having baby after baby, She lookedat me, at a spot between my eyes,blinking like I had suddenly fallencrazy. She paused before answering as ifto confide would legitimize my fears.She drew a deep breath, leaned againstthe chair. I touched her hand and I thought she mightcry. Instead she put baby Davie in my armsPattyn, she said, it's a woman's role.I decided if it was my role, I'd rather disappear.”

“And if we're truly one, how will I breathe when circumstance pries us apart? You are my oxygen, my sustenance, the blood inside my veins. When we touch, you are my skin, hold all my joy inside of you. When you go, I wither.”