“The best thing about my mom being sucha bitch is not worryingabout trying to make herproud of me.”

“Some people say—not to my face, mind you—that I’m a cowardly son of a bitch. And that is simply not true. My mom is not a bitch.”

“The big difference between my mom and me-- besides the fact that she is dead normal and I'm a magic-handling freak-- is that she's the real thing. She may have a slight problem seeing other people's points of view, but she's honest about it. She's a brass-bound bitch because she believes she knows best. I'm a brass-bound bitch because I don't want anyone getting close enough to find out what a whiny little knot of naked nerve endings I really am.”

“That's the thing about life. A lot of the time, it isn't easy at all. We just have to try to make the best of it.”

“The best thing about being a friend, is just being.”

“Bitch your tee is the shit.”“Don't call Mace's Mom a bitch.”