“Love peeps who have 2 correct me.Well it's peeps like you that give me fault when it comes to Apple. Apple been annoying me as well when it comes 2 trying 2 auto-correct me. Always ends up spelling it freaking wrong and just generally making me look like an asswipe as well as itself. It was fine b4 you changed it, I know I spelt it right, just like COLOUR is not spelt COLOR in my country!!! I never typed PEAK!! I wrote PEEK! it just decided not to and pissed me off just like peeps, like you, who like 2 auto-correct me!Rant over!”

“Stridey-Man: " Want 2 vaca w/me?"William: "Romantic getaway for 2? UR not my type"Stridey-Man: "I'm everyone's type. So U in or out? 'Cause I'm thinking about hooking up w/P, wherever he is. U'd just B extra baggage."William: "In"Stridey: "Knew you couldn't resist me. B ready in 5."William: "Right on. Make it 10. I want 2 style my hair for U. U know, just how U like it."Stridey: "Now U only have 8 minutes 2 do UR hair.”

“Stridey-Man' asked, Want 2 vacay w/me?William snorted as he typed. Romantic getaway for 2? UR not my type, dickwad.Fuck U. i'm everybody's types. So U in or out?Last chance in or out?InKnew U couldn't resist me. B ready in 5.Right on. Make it 10. I want 2 style my hair for U. U know, just how U like it.ASSHOLE.”

“Ant 1: So, uh, do you ever worry that your itsy little neck is just going to snap under the weight of your head? Ant 2: Stop asking me that. You ask me that, like, every five minutes. Ant 1: Sometimes I notice my antennae out of the corner of my eye and I'm all, like: AHH! Something is on me! Get it off! Get it off! Ant 2: Yeah, the antennae again. Listen, I just remembered, I have to go walk around aimlessly now.”

“Me: Well, you see, I, uh, I'm a cancer survivor.Person #1: And how's that working out for you?Me: Well, you see, I, uh, used to have leukemia.Person #2: Dude, how come you're not, like, BALD?Me: Well, you see, I, uh, I had acute lymphocytic lymphoma when I was five.Person #3: Whoa. THAT must'a sucked. I once had my tonsils out...”

“There are no rules when it comes to love. I just try to let love surprise me because you never know who you’re going to fall in love with. You never know who’s going to come into your life – and for me, when I picture the person I want to end up with, I don’t think about what their career is, or what they look like. I picture the feeling I get when I’m with them.”