“Your job as a parent is not to make your child's way smooth, but rather to help her develop inner resources so she can cope.”

“The degree to which a surviving parent copes is the most important indicator of the child's long-term adaptation. Kids whose surviving parents are unable to function effectively in the parenting role show more anxiety and depression, as well as sleep and health problems, than those whose parents have a strong support network and solid inner resources to rely on.”

“There are many times as a parent when you realize that your job is not to be the parent you always imagined you'd be, the parent you always wished you had. Your job is to be the parent your child needs, given the particulars of his or her own life and nature.”

“Child development does not mean developing your child into the person you think they should be, but helping them develop into the best person they are meant to be.”

“It’s not the job of the child to make the parent happy. It’s the job of the parent to take care of their own happiness.”

“Training moments occur when both parents and children do their jobs. The parent's job is to make the rule. The child's job is to break the rule. The parent then corrects and disciplines. The child breaks the rule again, and the parent manages the consequences and empathy that then turn the rule into reality and internal structure for the child.”