“If leeches ate peaches instead of my blood, then I would be free to drink tea in the mud!”

“Would I lie to you?”“There was that time you told me the mud pies would give me flying powers if I ate them.”“Not my fault. I really thought they would.”

“Disciples and devotees…what are most of them doing? Worshipping the teapot instead of drinking the tea!”

“Tea? Good God, no. It's mud. How the British ever built an empire drinking the filthy stuff is beyond me. And if we carry on drinking it, I've no doubt that the empire won't last much longer. No, a civilized person drinks coffee.”

“That is my problem with life, I rush through it, like I'm being chased. Even things whose whole point is slowness, like drinking relaxing tea. When I drink relaxing tea I suck it down as if I'm in a contest for who can drink relaxing tea the quickest.”

“An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea." Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.”