“The person who wants out of the relationship always gets her way.”

“When what you want is a relationship, and not a person, get a dog.”

“It hadn’t always been this way, that’s a cliché, but it is a cliché for a reason. It’s not like anyone starts a relationship with nothing to say to the other person. No-one wants to feel like a complete stranger and live together because it’s easier than trying to remember who owns the copy of Almost Famous – which was mine by the way.”

“He's not the relationship kind or so I hear.""And do you want a relationship?" I asked her."No." She laughed, dabbing her fry. "But I have a feeling with someone like him, you get one taste and you will always want more.""Sort of like crack?" Jacob suggested."Or Cheetos," Brit supplied.”

“Secrets press inside a person. They press the way water presses at a dam. The secrets and the water, they both want to get out.”

“And do it before you get with a girl you really want to settle down with. Because—trust me on this one—it’s very, very hard to find a girl that you’d want to take home to Mom, have a meaningful relationship with and possibly bear your children, who will also finger-bang another girl while you do her doggy-style. Get it done. Get it out of the way. If you don’t do it, you will regret it and never move past it. You will be the new virgin. And no one wants that, especially your girlfriend.”