“This is why you should never, ever get your hopes up. This is why you should see the glass as half empty. So when the whole thing spills, you aren’t as devastated.”

“His words are like the sound of a needle dragging across a record. A sinking, sickening feeling washes over me. This is why you should never, ever get your hopes up. This is why you should see the glass as half empty. So, when the whole things spills, you aren't as devastated.”

“You should never look at the cup or glass as being half empty; see it as being half empty, then you will have mastered the test of greatness.”

“Sir, I did not count your glasses of wine, why should you number up my cups of tea?”

“But the main reason you should read this is that I don't see why I should have to know all these terrible, terrible things and you should get off scot free.”

“Who is this girl? Why is she alive? Wonder if I should leave right now. Get up and say, 'Goodnight fuck-ups, it's been a sheer sensation and I hope I never see any of you again,' and leave?”