“Don’t put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today.”

“You know on TV when there’s one of those awkward, shocking moments and all you hear are the crickets in the background?Well chirp fucking chirp...this is one of those moments.”

“It makes me want to kiss her and strangle her at the same time. I’ve never been into S&M. But I’m beginning to see its benefits.”

“Never put off till tomorrow the book you can read today.”

“Never put off till tomorrow the fun you can have today.”

“A lady lion-tamer put her head in a lion's mouth last week, and he bit it off. If a lion attempted to put his head in my mouth I expect I would do the same.”

“If you don’t feel like changing and don’t have the motivation to do it for you then there’s not a single diet or pill that will work.”