“She was busy trying to stab me to death with her umbrella and I was busy trying to dodge." He made a little face. "She was better at her stabbing than I was about dodging.”

“I liked that about her. I liked how laid back she was, when she wasn’t trying to stab me.”

“The truth is I did try to stab him. I tried to stab him with a butter knife. Why? Because it seemed deadlier than trying to stab him with a melting stick of butter.”

“Relax. You're in good hands. Tabby wont hurt you.She stabbed me!Damn! I told her not to stab any more Hunters. I hate it when she does that.”

“Uh, did you run this by Alaina?""I tried." Keni gave a little shrug. "But I don't think she heard me. She was busy trying to figure out the "mystical forces" that make the microwave work.”

“There's a very mean girl down the hall who's trying to get me fired. I'm no good with confrontation, so whenever I say, "Have a wonderful day," to her out loud, I'm really saying, "Be nice to me or I will stab you in the face with a fork," in my head. I wish her a wonderful day at least once an hour. She's starting to get paranoid and jumpy about it, but there's really nothing she can do, because she can't complain about me wishing her a wonderful day without sounding totally insane. This is why you should never mess with nonconfrontational people. Because they're too unstable to second-guess. And because they're totally the kind of people who could suddenly snap, and stab you in the face with a fork.”