“A voice spoke. It sounded like a lion would speak, if it could talk. I WARNED YOU!In a way that would probably have been comic to watch, Lucinda and I turned, slowly, to see Spider the cat sitting between us and the door.‘The cat just spoke,’ said Lucinda blankly.‘I know,’ I said.‘Cats don’t talk.’‘I know that, too.’I’m not a cat. And I told you to stay away from here.”

“If a cat spoke, it would say things like 'Hey, I don’t see the problem here.”

“Not fooling around, not bothering nobody, just sitting here mending the Primus," said the cat with a hostile frown, "and, moreover, I consider it my duty to warn you that the cat is an ancient, inviolable animal.”

“But I don’t want to go among mad people," Alice remarked."Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.""How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice."You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”

“I am what I am. I would tell you what you want to know if I could, for you have been kind to me. But I am a cat, and no cat anywhere ever gave anyone a straight answer.”

“Do you know why I like dogs and not cats? Because whenyou’re talking to dogs, they don’t walk away in order to rimthemselves.~Austin to Cai's cat Begone Cai's, also known as the "fucking hairball with the crazies.”