“Why do people complain when your crabby but the moment there crabby you tell them to stop moaning they moan so fuckin unreal”

“The crabby little girls of today are the crabby old women of tomorrow!”

“Downloading's the same as what I used to do. I used to tape the charts of the songs I liked [off the radio]. I don't mind it. I hate all these big, silly rock stars who moan. At least they're fuckin' downloading your music, you cunt, and paying attention, know what I mean? You should fuckin' appreciate that, what are you moaning about? You've got fuckin' five big houses, so shut up.”

“These were such friendly people, they didn't notice how crabby we were, and before you knew it everyone was as happy as they were.”

“In such situations, of course, people don't nurse their anger silently, they moan aloud; but these are not frank, straightforward moans, there is a kind of cunning malice in them, and that's the whole point. Those very moans express the sufferer's delectation; if he did not enjoy his moans, he wouldn't be moaning. ”

“Because of his hormones, he only has three emotions: crabby, hungry, horny.”