“Rule number one: caffeine is your new best friend. Liquid optimism.”

“The ceremonial oat tour." She reaches in the shopping bag and takes out the milk bar with almonds, ripping it open."It must be so hard for guys in relationships - to have just one girlfriend completely devoted to taking care of all your whole-grain needs. I can see how at the first opportunity you'd just have to get out there and - sow.”

“To all the guys who broke our hearts - we wouldn't appreciate what we have today without you.”

“Sure, equal pay, maternity leaves, and pro sports are important. But a girl can't make a free throw from the foul line if her head's not in the game.”

“He's entitled not to love me, but he's not entitled to mess with my happy place.”

“I've learned that hurting you feels infinitely worse than being hurt myself.”

“I never realized how much of the pleasure of dining out is watching people, otherwise it feels like ordering in with better utensils.”