“Why can't everything be as easy as walking into H&M and putting a week's worth of clothes on a credit card?”
“I’m done with easy.”“You should print that on cards.”“Print this—why do you still have clothes on?”
“Do you take credit cards? I bet your pony would be worth a ride.”
“That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.”
“I started m-p-h-ing it homewards in a thrice”
“M-O-T-H-E-R"M" is for the million things she gave me,"O" means only that she's growing old,"T" is for the tears she shed to save me,"H" is for her heart of purest gold;"E" is for her eyes, with love-light shining,"R" means right, and right she'll always be,Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER,"A word that means the world to me.”