“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”

“I'm not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it?”

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”

“Some mornings it's just not worth it to chew through the leather straps.”

“You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.”

“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”

“the city is cold and hard like that bike I stole from your front yard.”