“Some mornings it's just not worth it to chew through the leather straps.”

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”

“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”

“I'm not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it?”

“You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.”

“Some days life just wasn't worth the trouble of chewing through the leather straps on the straitjacket.”

“Save the Planet...Buy Organic”