“A pity to survive night flights over St. Georges Channel only to crack my skull falling from a ladder.”

“The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons.”

“Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?”

“Too much damned TV. Thinks he's Sherlock Holmes.""That's professor Moriarty," corrected Foaly."Holmes, Moriarty, they both look the same with the flesh scorched off their skulls.”

“Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them.”

“I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile." "...Where's all the loot?""That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart." Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four."You were here to rob me!""No, I wasn't. How dare you?!”

“I am older and have more control over my empathy,' said Qwan. 'That's why I didn't throw up.' And having said that, he threw up.”