“Ah, my princess. Noble steed. How does the morning find you both?”

Eoin Colfer

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“Artemis: Holly, how did you find me?Holly: Oh, I saw a huge explosion and wondered: now, who could that be?”


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“Artemis: I am not buoyed by that.Foaly: You are not supposed to be buoyed by that. You are supposed to be equalized.Mulch: I'm pretty sure that both of you just made really horrible jokes. But I'm not sure because I think you broke my funny bone.”


“Hey, bodyguard. You better get down to the gymnasium. This jumbo pixie guy is killing your sister." "Really?" said Butler, unconvinced. "Really. Juliet just does not seem to be herself. She can't put two moves together. It's pathetic, really. Everybody is betting against her." "I see," said Butler, straightening. Mulch held the door. "It's going to make things really interesting when you show up to help." Butler grinned. "I'm not coming to help. I just want to be there when she stops faking." "Ah," said Mulch, comprehension dawning on his face. "So I should switch my bet to Juliet?" "You certainly should" said Butler.”


“If things go badly for me tonight, I want you to stay with Mr. Wynter; he will pay you a decent wage.”“Will he make me bathe?”“No, he will debate the matter with you until you decide to wash.”“Ah. One of those.”


“This is what love does, he realized, and in that moment he understood why Artemis had kidnapped a fairy to get the money to find his father. Love makes everything else seeminconsequential ”