“Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression. Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case? Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor. Doctor Po: Yes? Artemis: My mother, she... Doctor Po: Your mother, yes? Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.”

“She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.-Artemis Fowl”

“Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?"Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.”

“Wait," said Butler. "Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan." He squinted through the green dome. "What is your plan, Artemis?"All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.”

“That will be her undoing," gasped Artemis, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. "Artemis Fowl will never be secondary.""I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.”

“Artemis: "Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre."Myles: "In Paris."Artemis: "Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?"Beckett: "Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?"Myles: "I agree with simple-toon."Artemis: "No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'"Beckett: "Itchy what?”

“Holly, do you trust me?”Holly groaned. “Artemis, don’t ask me that. I just know one of your outrageous plans is coming.”“Do you trust me?”“Yes,” Holly sighed. “I do. More than anyone.”