“As a child, Zaphod had been diagnosed with ADHDDAAADHD (ntm) ABT which stood for Always Dreaming His Dopey Days Away, Also Attention Deficit Hyperflactulance Disorder (not to mention) A Bit Thick.”

“So, Mr. Digence, home to visit the family?""That's right. My mother's folks are from Killarney.""Oh, really?""O'Reilly, actually. But what's a vowel between friends?""Very good. You should be on the stage.""It's funny you should mention that."The passport officer groaned. Ten more minutes and his shift would have been over. "I was being sarcastic, actually. . .""Because my friend, Mr. McGuire, and I are also doing a stint in the Christmas pantomime. It's Snow White. I'm Doc, and he's Dopey."The passport officer forced a smile. "Very good. Next."Mulch spoke for the entire line to hear. "Of course, Mr. McGuire there was born to play Dopey, if you catch my drift."Loafers lost it right there in the terminal. "You little freak!" he screamed. "I'll kill you! You'll be my next tattoo! You'll be my next tattoo!"Much tutted as Loafers disappeared beneath half a dozen security guards."Actors," he said. "Highly strung.”

“Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on your wonderstruck face.”

“Humans have a saying that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", which basically means that if you think it's beautiful, then it is beautiful. The elfin version of this saying was composed by the great poet B.O Selecta, who said "Even the plainest of the plain shall deign to reign", which critics have always thought was a bit rhymey. The dwarf version of this maxim is "If it don't stink, marry it", which is slightly less romantic, but the general gist is the same.”

“Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.”

“There is always a use for everything, Victor had told him. Even pain.”

“Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, we are both imbeciles. I don't expect lateral thinking from the LEP, but from you..."... "What is it?" [Holly] asked, afraid of the answer, which must surely be terrible."Yeah," agreed Foaly, who always had time to feel insulted. "Why am I an imbecile?”