“Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese.”

“The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese.”

“Orion nodded, then asked, “Dwarf cheese?”“Cheese made by dwarfs.”“Oh,” said Orion, relieved. “They make it. It’s not actually . . .”“No. What a horrible thought.”“Exactly.”

“Careful, Mr. Spiro, guns are dangerous. Especially the end with the hole.”

“(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)”

“The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons.”

“Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?"Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.”