“In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter—they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught.”

“In spite of what youngsters think, parents do not get a sneaky thrill out of punishing their children.”

“You need to stop thinking with your head, Mud Boy, and start thinking with your heart.”Artemis sighed. The heart was an organ for pumping oxygen-rich blood to the cells. It could no more think than an apple could tap-dance.”

“No, I don't think you understand just how stupid goblins are. Let me give you an example. One of the B'wa Kell generals, and this is their top fairy, was caught caught trying to pass off forged credit slips by signing his own name.”

“I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?”

“Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?"Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.”

“Artemis ducked. Cudgeon didn't. Guess what? Artemis was smarter.”