“But there was something about Diesel... it started with his name and ended with his butt.”

“Diesel better have a big dick, that's all she was saying.”

“Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit..." Suzanne”

“A movie playing on the TV screen in front of us. Some sort of bad Tom Cruise drama. I've never liked Tom Cruise. He always reminded me of someone's creepy cousin, who smiles too big before he touches your butt and whispers something gross in your ear with hot whiskey breath.”

“Did I ever tell you the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern one?" she asked him, indulging herself and letting her head rest on his shoulder. God, he felt good. Her man. Where her head was meant to lie, right there, on him. "What's the difference?""A Northern one starts 'once upon a time,' while a Southern one starts 'y'all ain't going to believe this shit.”

“Corbin glanced around as his fellow classmates all crawled around the room, trying to get into the exercise, but all looking distinctly uncomfortable, except for Dave, whose enthusiasm had him zipping around the entire room. Travis had flopped onto his back."Is it time for my bottle and a bath yet?" he asked Corbin, and they both started laughing. If this was Brittany's idea of normal, then Corbin was damn grateful they were probably never going to fit in.-Corbin at Baby Boot Camp”

“Alexis grabbed his arm. "Tom Jones? Wow, I totally love Tom Jones. He's like quintessential Vegas—over the top and indecent fun. Let me just go grab a pair of underwear to throw at him and we'll be all set."Over his undead body. If anyone was getting her underwear tossed in his face, it was going to be him."I don't think so, Ball Buster. You're not giving your panties to an old man.""Oh, and you're so young, Garlic?""Garlic?" What the hell was that?"Yep. Now we have pet names for each other, isn't that adorable? You're Garlic and I'm Ball Buster. Now everyone will believe we're a real couple.”