“Housework can kill you if done right.”

“Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.”

“Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.”

“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”

“If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.”

“Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids.”

“Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. ”