“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.”

“Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on.”

“For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.”

“It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.”

“If I had my life to live over...Someone asked me the other day if I had my life to live over would I change anything.My answer was no, but then I thought about it and changed my mind.If I had my life to live over again I would have waxed less and listened more.Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy and complaining about the shadow over my feet, I'd have cherished every minute of it and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was to be my only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.I would have eaten popcorn in the "good" living room and worried less about the dirt when you lit the fireplace.I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.I would have burnt the pink candle that was sculptured like a rose before it melted while being stored.I would have sat cross-legged on the lawn with my children and never worried about grass stains.I would have cried and laughed less while watching television ... and more while watching real life.I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband which I took for granted.I would have eaten less cottage cheese and more ice cream.I would have gone to bed when I was sick, instead of pretending the Earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for a day.I would never have bought ANYTHING just because it was practical/wouldn't show soil/ guaranteed to last a lifetime.When my child kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now, go get washed up for dinner."There would have been more I love yous ... more I'm sorrys ... more I'm listenings ... but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it ... look at it and really see it ... try it on ... live it ... exhaust it ... and never give that minute back until there was nothing left of it.”

“Of the little less than a million eligibles roaming around, 5 percent don't know their sign and don't even care. Another 5 percent are tied to their mothers by a food fixation. That leaves only 20 percent who are searching for a girl who will pick up their clothes, run their baths, burn her fingers shelling their three-minute eggs, run their errands, bear them a child every year, look like a fashion model, tend their needs when they are sick, and hold down a full-time job outside the home to make payments on their boat.”

“Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. ”