“Much. so there is free dessert involved here." I put my hand to my forehead. "oh, that i had discovered the job first!"Ryan laughs. "tragic."want to hear something tragic? my dad is going to a Christian singles' retreat."Ryan nearly spits out his coffee. "your dad?" he is shacking.Brandon wallops him on the back a few times. Ryan holds his hands up at him, coughing. "Stop," he croaks, standing. he inhales a few times and gets his voice back. "You would have to tell me this when my mouth was full, wouldn't you?" he sits again.I smile broadly.a Christian singles' retreat?" he repeatsYep," Brandon says. "Get the name: Marley's Michigan Marriage Makers."I cover my faceRyan's expression twists. " thats.... interesting," he says slowlyHallie frowns. "If its a Christian retreat, why is it called Marley's?"Its a denomination in Michigan," Brandon says. "Marlotist. I just call them Marley for fun."I double over until my head hits the table.There is not a denomination called Marlotist," Hallie says.Is too. I visited one of their churches when I went to Michigan to ski one time," Brandon says.My eyes blur with tears from laughing so hard and holding it all in. My shoulders start shaking.Brandon levels a good kick to my shin.Ow!" I reach for my leg. What is the name of it, Laurie?" Ryan asks.Meet Your Match in Michigan"Brandon scowls at me. " Spoilsport.”

“I want you back, Annabelle.” This time my laughter is full of nothing but genuine humor. It’s that ‘oh my god, I can’t believe that’ kind of humor. I lean forward and put my face in my palms, still laughing. “Holy crap,” I say in-between laughs, “that’s hilarious.” I peek up at him to see his disgruntled expression and then bust up laughing again.  “I’m serious,” he grunts out, looking cute in his exasperation, damn him. Not done, I hold up a hand. “Oh, oh, wait. Just let me go get my gun so you can shoot me again. Of course I want to get back together with you, Gabriel.” Putting on a serious face, I say earnestly, “He shoots me because he loves me.”

“Do I have to make a poster and scream Ryan, Ryan?" I kidded."The only time I want to hear you scream my name is when I'm making love to you. Although you did call me God the other night. That's acceptable, too.”

“Sometimes I wonder if I've changed so much, my wife is even gonna recognize me whenever it is I get back to her, and how I'll ever be able to, tell about days like today. Ahh, Ryan. I don't know anything about Ryan, I don't care. The man means nothing to me; he's just a name. But if, you know, if going to Rem"al, and finding him so he can go home, if that earns me the right to get back to my wife, well then, then that's my mission.”

“Why do you care, anyway?" I say. "You can be either cruel instructor or concerned boyfriend." I tense up at the word "boyfriend." I didn’t mean to use it so flippantly, but it’s too late now. "You can’t play both parts at the same time.""I am not cruel." He scowls at me "I was protecting you this morning. How do you think Peter and his idiot friends would have reacted if they discovered that you and I were..." He sighs. "You would never win. They would always call you ranking a result of my favoritism rather than your skill."I open my mouth to object, but I can't. A few smart remarks come to mind, but I dismiss them. He's right. My cheeks warm, and I cool them with my hands."You didn't have to insult me to prove something to them," I say finally."And you didn't have to run off to your brother just because I hurt you," he says. He rubs at the back of his neck."Besides- it worked, didn't it?""At my expense.""I didn't think it would affect you this way." Then he looks down and shrugs. "Sometimes I forget that I can hurt you. That you are capable of being hurt."I slide my hands into my pockets and rock back on my heels. A strange feeling goes through me- a sweet, aching weakness. He did what he did because he believed in my strength.At home it was Caleb who was strong, because he could forget himself, because all the characteristics my parents valued came naturally to him. No one has ever been so convinced of my strength.I stand on my tiptoes, lift my head, and kiss him. Only our lips touch."You're brilliant. You know that?" I shake my head. "You always know exactly what to do.""Only because I've been thinking about his for a long time," he says, kissing me briefly. "How I would handle it, if you and I..." He pulls back and smiles. "Did I hear you call me your boyfriend, Tris?""Not exactly." I shrug. "Why? Do you want me to?"He slips his hands over my neck and presses his thumbs under my chin, tilting my head back so his forehead meets mine. For a moment he stands there, his eyes closed, breathing my air. I feel the pulse in his fingertips. I feel the quickness of his breath. He seems nervous."Yes," he finally says.”

“I laugh nervously and jerk my hand free, "I want the you that tilts his head back and eats the snow. I want the you that holds me and snuggles into me. I want him, but you hardly ever show him to me. I see a glimpse of him and then it's you that’s back." I point disappointedly. "I want the sweet guy who puts his hand out for me."His eyes fight something. His lips tighten, "He's in here too. I think there are a few of us.”