“Tell me bout this caveman with the clam moustache been barkin speeches all over Germany.”

“How 'bout just Clam? Or Clampbell?''Absolutely not.”

“I hear they’re all infected with chlamydia, which just goes to show that you really can’t tell who’s got the clam. I mean, look at a picture of a koala…tell me you’re not shocked.”

“Nevsky Avenue"Here you come across moustaches so wonderful that neither pen nor brush can do justice to them, moustaches to which the best years of a lifetime have been devoted-the object of long hours of vigil by day and by night; moustaches upon which all the perfumes of Arabia have been lavished, the most exquisite scents and essences, and which have been anointed with the rarest and most precious pomades; moustaches which are wrapped up for the night in the most delicate vellum; moustaches for which their possessors show a most touching affection and which are the envy of all those who behold them. ”

“I've been thinking,' said Allan.'What,' said Stalin angrily.'Why don't you shave off that moustache?'With that the dinner was over, because the interpreter fainted.”

“It's all the same to the clam.”