“Don’t do it gurl,” he said with a wink. “You need to pretend like that phone is your best friend’s husband’s dick now drop it.”

“Not with a mother like mine.” I let out a sigh. “I can hear her right now. ‘Boone, do you have to kiss like such a slut? Good Christ, if your tongue goes any farther down his throat you’ll be able to tell what the man had for breakfast. Do it like they did in those old-time movies…classy…not like a sailor on leave.”

“Phillip laughed. “You always did give great head.” “And I’ll continue to—just not for you.” With that I winked before walking away”

“Jackie had now changed her tune, clinging to me as if she liked it. “I’m irresistible, brother, he’s swapping sides for me.”“I can’t fight it any longer,” I said, nonchalantly.Wade shook his head at us. “I’ll be sure to pass this news along to your husband, sis.”“He can have the kids,” Jackie said, causing everyone to chuckle.“We insist,” I tossed in.”

“And hey," Gabe added, "I don't even need the second bedroom, so we could set that up as a guest room, then you and Wade can stay when you visit.""You might want a roommate or something.""For what...you won't let me pay you any rent, so it's not like I need the financial assistance.""Well a boyfriend maybe?" "And he'd be sleeping in the second bedroom because?" "When he's mad 'cause you won't put out, for one." Gabe tried to shove me off him. "Don't be mean—like I wouldn't want to have sex with my boyfriend." "I'm just teasing Sally Sensitive, sheesh." "I do actually like having sex you know." Gabe frowned. I gasped, placing a hand on my chest. "Lordy mercy, my little Gabe's all growed up." Gabe laughed at me. "Finally ready to stuff his Italian sausage where the sun doesn't shine!”

“I used to have Santa and the whole coal thing, but between Wade and their father, the little shits get whatever they want. They no longer feel like they need the fat bastard!”

“You win, you dirty evil butt-munch. I'll never not let you stay over again. Now let's go back to bed.”