“Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.”

“The trouble with child training is that parents teach their children not how to behave, but how not to behave.”

“Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.”

“We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.”

“A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name. ”

“America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.”

“Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.”