“The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.”

“Many a man who falls in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.”

“A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name. ”

“Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either. ”

“We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.”

“Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.”

“America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.”