“Surely a pen is like a blade; if it is not used then it becomes dull.”

“Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! ”

“Sometimes when the poop hits the fan we should block it and run, sometimes we should haul off and knock it for a loop back at the spinning blades. Wisdom is knowing two things. One is which time is which. The other is that no matter what you do you're gonna get crap on your hand.”

“There's more to life than to live like that...just like that.. :P”

“Yeah. You treat him like a son or a soldier, instead of like a brother. He wants you to like him and admire him and love him. Maybe in that order.”

“Vamps who are dying, or think they are, give a piercing, eardrum-bursting shriek, like the love child of a screech owl and a mountain lion on crystal meth, amplified like a seventies rock band.”

“It looked to me like a vamp version of a pissing contest. Men will be boys.”