“Men always fall for frigid women because they put on the best show.”

“Any woman who can’t say a four-letter word sometimes is deceitful.”

“Be a best friend. Tell the truth. Overuse ‘I love you'.”

“I feel naked in my Tommy hoodie and Victoria's Secret sweatpants with PINK written across the ass. The sweatpants aren't pink though - they're gray. This always confuses me when I put them on, because shouldn't they say GRAY - on the backside? Maybe Victoria's secret is she's colorblind.”

“But alas, my dear child, we are the slaves of custom, the dupes of prejudice, and dare not stem the torrent of the opposing world, even though our judgments condemn our compliance! However, since the die is cast, we must endeavor to make the best of it.”

“There is no longer any class outside the class of character, and no history to put your faith in.You can actually live as if you have no culture, no perspective particular to a date in time.You are an individual whose prime and solitary property is your own body.Dying becomes a hell beyond all reason or justice in this ahistorical context.”

“An attractive blonde behind the receptionist's desk smiles at me as I walk in. I assume she’s the receptionist, because I can’t think of any other reason she would be sitting behind the receptionist’s desk. Unless maybe she’s filling in for the real receptionist, who could be on her lunch break. But then I remember: it’s almost two, and I doubt anyone takes their lunch breaks that late. So this must be the actual receptionist.”