“I have more enemies than I deserve," I said. "I am fighting a losing battle, me against the world. The next century is at stake. Time is running out and my optimism is sorely strained.""Yeah?" he said. "I was young once too.”

“I see the sunrise now," he said. "Because of you, the days have color. Eternity has meaning once more. You found every broken piece of me and put me back together, even though I hurt you too many times for me to deserve it. You are the glue that holds me together. If I lose you, it will be the end of me. The end of everything good in this world.”

“I think I am going to have to supercharge my optimism to arm myself for the battle ahead. Trust me, it is going to be a battle.”

“How to Win a Fight - Step 1: Always make eye contact. Step 2: Go ahead and use henchmen - these days it's unnecessary and frowned upon to fight your own battles, especially with so many henchmen out of work. Step 3: Run lots of attack ads - I have run about 500 attack ads this year, and I expect that I will buy even more air time next year, because my enemies are getting stronger.”

“Barney said that everybody deserves to have something good in their life at least once. I have. More than once.”

“I shall never have a bath again," I said. "Just dont have one too often," my grandmother said. "Once a month is quite enough for a sensible child." It was at times like these that I loved my grandmother more than ever.”