“I don’t blame you for being upset, Sera. But what you need to be doing is getting pissed as fuck and then stab him in the nut sack with those killer stilettos.” I look up at my best friend, Adam, and see the empathy in his eyes. “Fuck it! I’ll stab him in the nuts, and then gouge his eyes out. Girl, I’ll be the…the fucking Nut Slayer!”

“Those swords are mine! Touch them and I’ll use ‘em to slice off your nut sack! For a coin purse!”

“And you should warn him that if he hurts you, I will scissor kick him in the nuts.  Tell him, okay? You tell him that.  Because I mean it.  I’ll go all kinds of Bruce Lee on his tasty ass.”

“Do you think he would?""I think he'd give his left nut to get in your pants.""Very nice," I told him. "So elegantly put."Dan laughed and leaned forward to nuzzle my neck again. "Yes, Elle, I think Jack would love to fuck you.”

“Squirrels always eat nuts with two hands, always two hands, "arararar", and occasionally, they stop and go, oh, uh, ah, as if they're going, "Did I leave the gas on? No! I'm, no I'm a fucking squirrel!" And occasionally they go, "Fucking nuts! Fed up with them always. I long for a grapefruit.”

“She was thinking, I have a nut in my house. How do I get the nut out of my house?”