“I did remember. The librarian had picked me up and held me to her chest as we evacuated beneath the flashing fire alarm. I'd felt so safe and nonflammable between her breasts."So what's that got to do with you?" I asked."I knew you liked her," Luke said. "So I set that up.""You pulled the alarm?" I asked, shocked."No!" Luke protested. Then he grinned. "I set the fire.”

“You all right?" he asked.I felt dizzy. "Yeah. Lots of blood, though...""The head always bleeds a lot," Luke told me. "Remember when I fell from the chandelier?"I smiled through my nausea. "Yeah.""And from that third-story window?""Yeah.""And from the flagpole of our Montessori school?""I remember." I managed a small laugh. "But I'm surprised you do.”

“I'm not copying you!" Luke said. "A werewolf is totally different than a vampire! You're creepy all the time. Mine is just, like, a monthly thing....""Like PMS?" I suggested. "Shut up!”

“I could kiss that girl. And ya know what? I will kiss that girl. As soon as I get back to school, I'm gonna grab her, and I'm gonna kiss her.”

“I've been asking around to find out what girls are into," Eugene tells me, really pleased with himself. "So I'm gonna get a spray tan and make red-velvet cupcakes.”

“So that's how we end up helping Aviva pick out a male escort. Even Darcy is impressed with Eugene's organization; each profile in the boy binder has two pictures, a head shot and a full-body shot, and lists essential information: age, school, height, weight, extracurriculars, hobbies, and dance ability (which ranges from "occasional Dance Dance Revolution participation" to "so good he could back up the Biebs").”

“If you skip one class, everyone knows about it. The teacher will track you down, or one of the guidance counselors will track you down and ask if you're smoking pot. According to the geniuses running this place, the only reason you would skip class is if you're smoking pot, though I actually find my classes more enjoyable when I'm high.”