“The only people I can't tolerate are the fans of Wayne Newton and Neil Sedaka.”
“The state of North Carolina, Daisy, and John Wayne walked into a bar, and I shouted, “Duke!” and the bartender threw me out, because he was a Chapel Hill fan, and I was drunk.”
“The universe is deterministic all right, just like Newton said, I mean it's trying to be, but the only thing going wrong is people fancying people who aren't supposed to be in that part of the plan.”
“Life is not only Newton, it is also Milton.”
“It was then that I realized that while playing the well-meaning tolerant individual (in short: liberal) garnered you fans and grades, it didn't matter. In my heart and head, I was a fraud.”
“Dale can't tolerate other people throwing up. He gets what's known as the Synchronized Heaves.”