“Love solves nothing, but your love made me appear to myself.”

“Goodbye, Hari, my love. Remember always--all you did for me.”            -I did nothing for you.”            -You loved me and your love made me--human.”

“Please don’t hate you??!! I hate that I love you. Loving you made me waste a year of my life. Lovingyou made me be passionate about nothing but you. Loving you made me take risks I never would haveotherwise. Loving you made me give it up to you. Loving you made me neglect my parents and Amy.Loving you made me not care that my grandma just died. Loving you made me turn out bitter andhopeless like her. Loving you made me hate myself for being dumped by you. Loving you made medeluded, irrational, inconsiderate, and a liar. And because I love you, you’re always going to haunt me.”

“Me? You are laughing at me. Put your hand here. This has no theology.' I mocked myself while I made love. I flung myself into pleasure like a suicide on to a pavement.”

“I don't want to be a machine, and I don't want to think about war," EPICAC had written after Pat's and my lighthearted departure. "I want to be made out of protoplasm and last forever so Pat will love me. But fate has made me a machine. That is the only problem I cannot solve. That is the only problem I want to solve. I can't go on this way." I swallowed hard. "Good luck, my friend. Treat our Pat well. I am going to shortcircuit myself out of your lives forever. You will find on the remainder of this tape a modest wedding present from your friend, EPICAC.”

“Yet I will make you all love me and I will punish myself to spite your love.”