“I believe in talking behind peoples' backs. That way, they hear it more than once.”

“Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.”

“If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?”

“I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.”

“It's much easier to write a solemn book than a funny book. It's harder to make people laugh than it is to make them cry. People are always on the verge of tears.”

“This is not my favorite way to wake up. My favorite way to wake up is to have a certain French movie star whisper to me softly at two thirty in the afternoon that if I want to get to Sweden in time to pick up my Nobel Prize for Literature I had better ring for breakfast. This occurs rather less often than one might wish.”

“The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.”