“I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility.”

“Sleep is death without the responsibility.”

“Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep.”

“Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.”

“I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.”

“I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.”

“I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.”