“My favorite animal is steak.”

“This is not my favorite way to wake up. My favorite way to wake up is to have a certain French movie star whisper to me softly at two thirty in the afternoon that if I want to get to Sweden in time to pick up my Nobel Prize for Literature I had better ring for breakfast. This occurs rather less often than one might wish.”

“No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.”

“To lose yourself in a book is the desire of the bookworm. I mean to be taken. That is my desire.”

“I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.”

“I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.”

“I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.”