“Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.”

“There is one thing that has disappeared, not just from the U.S. but from the entire world, is the idea of ever being embarrassed by anything.”

“No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.”

“The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one’s soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive – you are leaking.”

“In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. ”

“Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.”

“Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep.”