“The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.”

“When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.”

“Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep.”

“Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.”

“To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.”

“I prefer dead writers because you don't run into them at parties.”

“Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass. Your life story would not make a good book. Do not even try.”